what a wierd day

yesterday was unexpected. I woke up with energy and excitement. I can't wait to get married and be with Cory forever. I can't wait to wear my wedding dress. I was picking out songs for our wedding video and was so super excited to have Cory listen. I got home from school and ran a couple of errands and was on my way to take Micky for a walk when much to my... (I don't have a word), Murphy (my ex fiance) was sitting on my front porch waiting for me.

There were so many things going through my mind. I was sick. Sick to my stomach and close to tears. Oh so close. But I had to do my thing. Invite him in, ask about his family, tell him about mine, talk about the wedding date, etc. The conversation was ok, nothing out of the ordinary. I couldn't wait for Cory to get home so that I could escape. What did Murphy want? Why was now ok for two dozen roses and not when he proposed? Why did it take him three years, almost, to figure out what he wanted?

He talked about how difficult this was for him and that he didn't want to see Cory. Did he stop to think about how difficult this could be for others? He wanted to leave before Cory got there. That didn't happen. So he hid in my spare room while I asked Cory to go to the other room, so that Murphy could leave. Why? Are we in junior high, now? I was frustrated and hurt and sad and...hurt. Did I say that one already?

I drove Murphy to his brothers house where he is staying. (his brother married my friend). I told Sandy she should have told me. This isn't something you hide or keep secret. This isn't an exciting surprise. This was a dreaded moment.

I'm glad that Cory is so patient and understanding. I'm glad that he just gave me a hug and let me be astounded. I'm glad that he was there and that he came home from work when he did. I'm glad that I am marrying Cory. I love him. I love his goodness and his love for me. I love that he wants to marry me.

I love that my family is so supportive and so on my side. They are kind and good and understanding. They all agree that Murphy is too late. And I love that they agree on that point.

I fell asleep last night exhausted emotionally. I had bad dreams. I woke up and yelled out that I just wanted everyone to go away. Cory was still in the living room at this point, and he came in to make sure I was ok. He whispered in my ear that he isn't going anywhere. I wanted him to stay. He kissed me on the forehead and went to my parents house to sleep. I love him.

What a weird day...