Graduation

Today is my students graduation. I have been longing for this day for a while now. I look forward to the break from this group of students. I look forward to sleeping in. I look forward to days off. I even look forward to planning vacations I probably won't take. But today is a bit bitter sweet.

I have been here for three years now, and I am so happy to say that it is my first group of Sophomores that are graduating. I love seeing them in the halls, having them say hi and tell me their stories. I love when they come into my classroom to talk. I even love being able to feel like I can help them in some small way. They are really good kids. And it's a little sad to think that they won't be here next year. I find that sad and happy in a way. There are some that I will really miss. It will be weird to come back and not have them here. But I'm happy too, because they get to move on into the world and discover themselves. Discover what they love and what they don't. Discover the joys and difficulties of being an "adult". (they already think they are)

I look forward to seeing them in their cap and gowns, walking down the aisle, smiling so big becuase they actually made it. Some of them, just barely! Then I get to walk away smiling, because I don't have to deal with students for another 3 months. Happy thought and Happy Graduation!

AGAIN?

Yesterday and Today have been hard. I know that I am an emotional girl and all that. I know that at times I am needy. I know that it will take a miracle for someone to want to put up with that and marry me. I know that God is in charge. I know that life is good. I know that one day I will get it.

BUT...

I feel down. I feel needy. I feel anxious. I woke up four times during the night last night. Worried someone was coming in. Worried that I was too needy. Worried is the key word. I can't seem to shut my mind down enough to sleep. And I think it boils down to two wants. Yep, just two. They're big ones. And I have no control over them whatsoever.

I want to be married and I want to be a mother. I feel so ready. I feel lonely. And these two things are definitely things that I don't want to rush. They aren't things that I want to just happen, like going and buying ice cream. They are two things that will take time and effort. But nonetheless, I want to be married and to be a mother.

And the scripture that keeps playing over and over in my mind is this, "I'll trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto mine own understanding. In all my ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct my path."

I hope it keeps playing over and over...it seems to help me through a lot.

The last week of School...

Did you know that the last week of high school is ridiculous? Well if you didn't, it is.

Last week they turned in their textbooks. So they have nothing to use for studying or classwork. They also checked out of their lockers. So they have no where to store their things. They are done mentally. Seniors don't come cause they can't flunk at this point. And pretty much they have checked out mentally.

But guess what? So have teachers! This week we try really hard to come up with things for them to do, while not really giving us extra work. Grades are done. Who really cares anyway. :)

So we are watching a movie. Penelope to be exact. They seem to really like it so I just stay here at my desk and try to get things ready for summer.

Summer, blissful summer when I can sleep in until 7 or 8. I can't wait for next week....