the girls ---

These are my favorite girls in the whole world! They know all about me. They know what makes me cry and what makes me smile. They know my hurts and my sorrows. They know my quirks and they understand my humor. And the best part about them is that they know all of this and still love me.

When we were growing up, we all shared rooms. There were too many of us to have our own rooms. It was Noelle and Becca together and Heather and Amanda and I. We used to have so much fun talking and playing.

Sometimes we (boys included) would put a whole bunch of pillows and blankets at the bottom of the stairs and slide down on another blanket and land at the bottom. Thinking of doing that now makes my poor bottom hurt, but we loved it.

Sometimes we would all sleep in the same room. Usually only for special occasions, but we had fun doing it.

In the evenings we would have a bunch of the neighbor kids come over and we would all play night games.

I think we grew up in the best era. It wasn't too hard like our grandparents had it and it wasn't too easy like my students have it now. It was idealistic. We could walk to the penny candy store without an adult. We went swimming all the time. We could climb the cherry tree and eat to our hearts content. We could come into the house to the smell of homemade bread and eat it straight from the oven. We could turn the tv on and watch great shows like smurfs and my little pony. I loved growing up.

And now, I love having my girls all close and ready and able to do fun adult things with me. I love when we all get pedicures and sit and laugh and talk. I love when we do scone night. I love when they ask me to comb their hair. I simply just love being with them.

xoxo girls. :)

close to my heart

I have lots of things going through my head, but they are things that are so close to my heart, that I am not sure that I can express them adequately.

I do want to say that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. I know that God lives and loves each of us. I know that the Book of Mormon is true and testifies of the Savior. I know that God speaks to us through the Holy Ghost, and the more we listen and acknowledge Him, the more we hear Him. I know that the Savior died for me and for you. I know that families are forever and that we can always be with them.

I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior more than anything!

Journal of sorts...

I started this blog as a way to keep up on my journal. I do better when I can type it out, especially when I have a lot on my mind and I don't know who to talk to. I kind of got into the mind set, lately, that I needed to impress other people with pictures and stories of sorts. And I haven't taken the time to really write what I have been thinking or feeling. So whether this is something that you want to hear or not, I need to write.

Cory proposed on Wednesday night! I was so surprised and soooo soooo happy! He is so kind and good and I am so lucky to be getting married. I wasn't sure if the chance would ever come after ending things with Murphy. One of my fears was that I would never meet anyone and that Murphy was my one chance. Well, I am glad that I was wrong. :)

We "dated" a little in college, but it wasn't anything serious (in his mind). We lived near each other for about two years and were great friends. I wanted something serious, he wasn't ready. In reality I wasn't ready either, I just thought I was. We went our separate ways and I hadn't heard or seen anything of him for almost five years. Murphy came along and that ended. (I don't really want to go into details of that). Then Cory found me on facebook, and it has been amazing ever since. We have been dating this time for almost nine months and it has been a fast (most of the time) nine months. Sometimes I still get amazed at where life has brought us and that I am actually getting married.

A couple months ago, we started talking marriage pretty seriously, and knew that was what we wanted to have happen. I brought it up one Sunday with my family all in the living room, that we were thinking April. Dad said it wasn't the time to discuss it and that was that. I guess no one was ready to listen or they were somewhere else mentally. So, we kept discussing it between the two of us, trying to figure out how it would all work out.

In this time, Noelle met Jason. And I am so happy for the two of them. They are cute and happy and make a great match. I think they will be good for each other. And they have decided to be married on March 13. There have been so many emotions going on inside my heart. I just don't know what to think or to feel. Most of the time I just can't wait for her. I wanted to be there for her through it all. I have been planning weddings since I was probably like 10. And I couldn't wait to go dress shopping with her and help her pick a cake and plan flowers and colors and the whole shebang. But there is this little tiny part of my heart that wonders what I should do at this point.

Cory and I don't want to wait until summer to be married. There are the obvious reasons, that many of us have. Why prolong something that we know is right? Why give Satan more time to tempt us? Some of the other reasons seem small and inconsequential, but are so important to me. I am tired! I want to have the chance to stay home for a month if I want to, without having to travel to Ferron. Not that I don't like it there, just that I don't get things done. I want to be able to go to bed at 9:30 like I should, so that I don't get up grumpy at 5:00 in the morning. But after 9 is the only time to talk, because I don't have the money to pay for more minutes. I want to know that Cory will be there every day, and if I need him I can find him. And, plain and simple, I am just ready.

But there are concerns. I know there are. I understand the concerns. I worry about Noelle feeling like her day was hers and unique and special, and that I didn't ruin it for her by walzting in three weeks later with my wedding. I want family to feel like they can choose to come to both if they want to. I don't want family to worry about throwing too many showers or spending too much money on gifts too soon. I want mom to not worry. I want her to be happy and feel like she can stay here and not run away to Brazi. I want what I have always wanted...everyone to be happy. And I don't know what to do.

While two months isn't that much more to wait, it feels like an eternity. And April feels right. You know that happy, at peace, this is going to work feeling? That is what I feel about April. Am I selfish? I feel like I am. Am I pushy? I don't know. And yet, June doesn't feel the same as April does. I don't want anyone to be sad or hurt or offended or put out with another wedding in April.

All I can really do is pray. Heavenly Father knows and understands. Of that I am forever grateful. I just hope that everyone knows that I am trying to do the right thing and I am trying to make the right decisions. And really, I just want to make people happy. Please know that!!!

Manti

This is the Manti temple. My favorite place in the whole world! And this is where Cory and I are going to be married.

Well, I have had a few questions about Cory and I. I've been waiting for him to actually give me the ring to announce it, but he's soooo slow. :)

We are getting married!! I am sooo excited!!! We have set the date for the 2nd of April, in the Manti LDS temple.

This temple is my all time favorite! And I am so excited to go there with Cory and be sealed for this life and the next. He is so good to me and loves me so much! He is my complete opposite in many ways, and for me that works the best. As silly as it sounds, he completes me.

I love him, and can't wait until April.

Meet Noelle.

This is my dear older sister. She is really good to me. We have not always gotten along the best, but we are dear friends. She goes hiking with me (mostly she invites me along). She listens to me when I need to talk. She builds me up when I feel down. She lets me wear her clothes. She goes shopping with me (when I ask, and only when she wants to). She is one of the best sisters. (I have lots of those, and they are all the best a girl could ask for)

Noelle has a blog. She also has an amazing talent for writing. She's super funny and she makes people laugh and cry and think and all the stuff a good writer is supposed to do. Sometimes I think I am going to delete my blog cause her's is better. I know it's not a competition, but look at her followers compared to mine. Sheesh. I should just leave the writing up to her.

Noelle is getting married in March. I am so super excited for her. She chose a pretty good guy (I do like mine better). :) She will be a great wife and mother. She chose her date for two and half weeks before my date. That will be an adventure for all involved. :)

I love my sister Noelle and hope that she knows that. She makes me happy and makes me smile and helps me feel good about me. (that's a struggle for me) She is one of the best friends a girl could ask for. Thanks Noelle. I love you!

long weekend for me...

I am off to Ferron for the weekend...

I am way excited to spend the time with Cory....

just relaxing and stuff...

sounds so nice....

have a great weekend!

adventures!

When we were little, we went on sooo many fun adventures! I felt like we were always doing something crazy and exciting.

We would climb mountains from the backside. We would always veer off of the trails to find other ways. We followed moose tracks so we could see the moose. (in the snow, falling a lot, wondering the whole time why dad would do this to us) We drove to Canada so we could say that we had been to Canada. (we were already in Idaho or Washington or somewhere close) We hunted morel mushrooms for hours at a time. We drank water straight from the streams. We climbed to the top of Timp when we were little. We drove to Mexico. And oh so much more.

I love my family! I love our adventures! I love my memories! I am so happy that I get to continue doing fun things with them for the next years of my life.

Life is good!




Jared, Becca, Me, Heather, Ben and Noelle

ughhh!

Are you ever wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ornery? I am today. Not like so ornery I yell at everyone, but ornery like I want to be in my sweats watching tv and not talking to anyone. Do you you know what I mean? I don't feel well. I hate this dull pain that I feel that just won't go away.

And you all probably don't really care, but this is my blog. So, later on today, I will write my real post for the day, but I just needed to tell someone that I really just want to go home.

Poor thing!

My poor little niece was burned yesterday on her chest and her neck. Heather was concerned that they were 2nd degree burns, so she took her to the ER (with the assistance of Noelle and Becca). She is the cutest thing ever, and was so brave!

While it is sad that she was burned, there is nothing cuter than a two year old on Lortab. She was hilarious last night! She kept us all entertained until she got too sleepy to do so.

I sure love this little one and hope that she heals quickly!

Sunday Dinner

A few weeks back, we had Sunday dinner at my brother's house. It's nice when we have dinner there, cause there is more room to move around. The family is getting larger and mom's kitchen only seems to get smaller. We have unique, may I say, Sunday's with my family. I love it.

This particular Sunday, we had lemonade for the drink. I don't remember the meal, just the drink. (you'll know why in a minute) We had finished dinner, and were just sitting there talking. We realized that the tablecloth that Rachel had used, didn't soak up the moisture. It just fell into little beads on the surface. As adults, we began playing with these beads. Dragging, dropping, squishing, separating, combining, cleaning up and starting again. It was highly entertaining.

Amanda started to do it with her lemonade. So on top of a blue tablecloth were a bunch of pink drops. All different sizes and randomly placed. I looked at it and thought, that could be a really cool photo! So I got my camera and played around for a minute. Then Amanda took over and played around with it a lot. She took like 20 pictures with my camera of these drops. Made me laugh.





It was such great fun! I love my family!

Dad

My dad is a workaholic. His idea of having fun is spending the day in the mountains (or his shop, or fairview) working. He's good at it too. He doesn't waste time. He doesn't give in to being tired. He gets a lot done. He does the job well. He's superman when it comes to working.

A while back, I had a day off of school, and I chose to spend the day with him in Fairview. Fairview, while really a town, has become known to us as dad's property, located in said town. When Dad's barn in Marion burned down, he kinda went crazy without something to work on. So, he transfered his energies to fairview. The most amazing thing about it is that he does it for his family. So that we can have a place to visit away from the busy life. And it is beautiful there!



One day, while in Fairview, dad decided that he had to get rid of a big tree so that he could continue building the fence he was working on. This tree was massive! And he just began cutting it down, by himself, with his trusty chainsaw. Well, a big huge branch buckled somewhere and was lying under pressure. Dad cut it, and it flew back and hit him in the head. He cut his head open, put some cloth to it, cleaned up all his tools, packed up, locked up and drove from Fairview to Provo to go to the ER. That's the kind of stuff dad does. :)

So, this particular day off, I went to help him with the fence. But before we could continue on with the fence, we had to move the big logs from the mentioned tree, into his truck. (dad thinks his daughters are boys and that we can do all things his sons can...or almost). These were no small logs. These were like trees with no branches on them. Unmovable in my opinion. However, dad had a plan. (Like always.)
We were to put some long boards down on the ground and have them go over the hill and onto the bed of his truck. We were then to roll the logs onto the boards, across the boards, and drop them into the truck. I was leery, to say the least. But dad is dad, and that is just what we did.







This was not what I had anticipated, but it was fun! And it felt good! And I love my dad for teaching me to work. And for letting me take a nap on the ground afterward, while he dug holes for some trees he was planting. I admire him for his love of nature and for his ability to see a job that needs to be done, and do it. He has the strength of ten men, and I love that about him, also.

Fairview is beautiful! And it will be a wonderful place for our familiy to enjoy quality time together. Thanks Dad!

getting old...

The older I get, the more I don't like being cold. I still like sweatshirts better than tshirts. I still like freshly fallen snow. I still love Christmas. I still love running in the cold. But I don't like the feeling of bone-chilled cold. You know what I mean, the cold that gets so deep it never seems to go away. And today, I long for the days of summer, and camping and hiking and the likes. The following pictures are me re-living the warmth.

Hope you can feel the sun on your face. Feels good. :)

babysitting

When I was between the ages of 12-14, I did what many girls do; I babysat. I was pretty good at it and almost always enjoyed it.

I was driving down state street the other day with Cory and as he drove I looked out the window. I saw an old house I used to babysit in all the time and I was flooded with fun memories. This house was creepy! It was very large, and old 15 years ago. Every part of the house creaked and made weird noises. I was never fully comfortable there; I always worried that someone would come in and hurt the girls that I was in charge of. I usually watched TV so as not to hear the creaks. Sometimes I did the dishes or vacuumed. But mostly watched TV.

One night, I had to put the baby to bed. She usually slept pretty well, and I had it easy cause she let me put her to sleep with a bottle. So, I got the older girls to bed and sat down to feed the baby.

Well, being so young, after the baby cried for about an hour, I was in tears myself. I hadn't eaten, and my nerves were shot! I even tried running the vacuum cause some dumb comercial had said that would calm a baby down. It didn't!

I finally gave in and did what I should have done earlier. I called my mom. Isn't that what mom's are for? Well, my mom is a dear! She brought me a frozen burrito, helped me with the baby, told me to wash the dishes to help the family out and then left so I could finish my job.

I sure love my mom! She has saved me from many messes that I have been in. She's always there for me, even when we are hundreds of miles apart.