AGAIN?

Yesterday and Today have been hard. I know that I am an emotional girl and all that. I know that at times I am needy. I know that it will take a miracle for someone to want to put up with that and marry me. I know that God is in charge. I know that life is good. I know that one day I will get it.

BUT...

I feel down. I feel needy. I feel anxious. I woke up four times during the night last night. Worried someone was coming in. Worried that I was too needy. Worried is the key word. I can't seem to shut my mind down enough to sleep. And I think it boils down to two wants. Yep, just two. They're big ones. And I have no control over them whatsoever.

I want to be married and I want to be a mother. I feel so ready. I feel lonely. And these two things are definitely things that I don't want to rush. They aren't things that I want to just happen, like going and buying ice cream. They are two things that will take time and effort. But nonetheless, I want to be married and to be a mother.

And the scripture that keeps playing over and over in my mind is this, "I'll trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto mine own understanding. In all my ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct my path."

I hope it keeps playing over and over...it seems to help me through a lot.