WHY?

So, yesterday was one of those days that I wish I could be more like my dad. He rarely loses his cool; he never swears, he is always rational and he thinks before he lets anything out. So, I wish that yesterday, I had been given his gifts.

I was in my eighth period class; they're the worst one I have. They aren't nice. Plain and simple! I like individuals in the class, but I really don't like them when they are together. So, yesterday, they were working really quietly for the first time this year. There was no talking and I was sooooo impressed. I felt like we were making progress. Alicia, a really good friend and fellow teacher, stopped by to introduce me to her new baby boy. I was so excited to see her! And her baby is adorable, by the way!

I stepped out of my classroom to talk with her for a minute. I was dumb and should have invited her in, cause it was cold and the baby didn't like it. But, I wanted the class to stay on task and not get disrupted by my talking. We visited for a few minutes and then the baby was really mad, so she figured she should go home. I knocked on the door....and nothing happened! (my door locks automatically) Dumb door!

I knocked again, and they didn't open it. I kicked it this time, and they kicked back. I kicked again, and they kicked back. By this time, baby is crying more and I really just need to be let in. They start being even more annoying, by telling me that I have to repeat after them to be let back in. I was mad! That is about all I can say about that. This went on for a few more minutes, and finally they opened the door. I just looked at them and told them there was a crying baby out there and what kind of people are they, anyway. I said goodbye to Alicia and began to be a teacher again.

Well, I handled things pretty well. I didn't yell or anything. I just told them that there would be a consequence to their actions, and I would let them know what that consequence was going to be before the bell rang. We went about our day and things were a little tense because they knew they had been really big jerks. But, it was okay.

About ten minutes before class ended, I explained to them what the consequence would be. Since I wasn't in the classroom to see who was actually doing it, I was going to dock participation points from all of them. This one kid, who has only been in my class for about a week, gets all smart and says "that is a bunch of crap". Well, I snapped.

I looked at him and said, 'no, I'll tell you what is crap', and I proceeded to explain to them that it was crap to come to this class. That they treated me like ...... insert swear word. I know, I am a bad teacher. I told them that they forgot sometimes that even though I am a teacher, I have feelings and that sometimes, they hurt those feelings. That sometimes I want to quit my job because of their class. That sometimes, I even go home and cry because of they way they treat me. It was very powerful, and I think I hit home with a lot of them. In the end of this speech, I apologized for swearing and told them that I shouldn't have done so, but that I felt really strongly about it.

Let's just say they were very subded for a the last few minutes of class. So, the question is WHY? Why do I teach? What was I thinking? What it all boils down to is that I really do love my job. I just hate the way that some of my students treat me. All in all, it was a very interesting day!

Moral of the story; it just isn't worth it to swear! :)